PD and I are two very different personalities (He's the rock star of the house and I love being invisible sometimes), but we have some things in common; we're both the sentimental sorts... generally the type who love films about kids, can cry through entire movies and whose favourite de-stressors are the series of Friends and when in a more retrospective mood, the Wonder Years.
One particular episode of the Wonder Years comes to mind as I watch my daughter run around in circles, waiting to get dizzy. It's the one where seven or eight year old Kevin learns to play the piano, is encouraged by parents and the teacher but gradually becomes demotivated as he feels others are better at it than him; he ends up leaving the piano (though he enjoys it and has the potential to play beautiful music) and sticking with football. Adult Kevin looks back and says that when we were kids, we had a bit of everything in us.. musician, mathematician, astronaut, scientist, sportsperson, artist, poet...it's only as we 'grew up', that we started letting go of them one by one, when self- limiting thoughts got the better of us.
That's a powerful thought that rings true for most of us..... think of the many possibilities that we might have convinced ourselves, were not meant for us. (This carries on into adult life aswell, and deserves another blog post, doesn't it?)
I feel privileged and mighty nervous sometimes, as a parent, that after my own wonder years (and the missed piano lessons that go with it), I have the wonder years to navigate with my daughter. She's 18 months old now, my little musician (she sings to herself when she plays); mathematician (she knows her ek, do, paanch, teen, aath); astronaut ( flies around weightless while I try and cushion her); scientist (explores anything and everything, while I fly around - not weightless- behind her); sportsperson (she packs a mean punch and plays ball); artist ( you get washable crayons thank god); poet (am sure she's working on that one too).
As an 18 month old parent, I love making space for her, for possibilities to be everything. But there is a little tug in my heart as I watch her play and realise that as she grows up and 'socialises' in a world that's not always as kind as mamma and PD- papa, she too will have her fair share of missed piano lessons. It's then I realise that we will only be able to create possibilities for some time, in the room we've made for her, where her world is full of bumble bees, rabbits and 'goddies' (the barking sort). In the Wonder Years, mamma and PD-papa will always be there, while she figures herself out and hopefully becomes everything she wants and more.....
8 comments:
That is beautifully put Pranavi! What you are saying is so true. Sri Aurobindo's philosophy of integral education focuses exactly on this phenomenon. The idea is to get out of the way of the child, not impose own aspirations but to help the soul discover her own potentialities and purpose.And they invariably align.
So the idea is to choose the right schooling for Bhavi to continue with your quest.
Vinit
Sri Ravishankar says that for most people, the 2 integral requirements from a relationship are love and respect. Problem is that love gets people close. And closeness gets in the way of respect - as respect is usually built on distances. With parents - and young children, it is easy to fall in love because the requirement for respect isn't mature enough in parents. The problem with growing up (and being parents of growing up children) is the increasing presence of a 'new personality' whom we want to love - but be acknowledged and respected as well. So parents start imposing themselves - that is where love starts to disappear and the fun in the relationship starts disappearing. The coaching classes replace piano lessons, and the career ambitions start replacing childhood dream. That is when wonder years end - and that is when, in the words of Kevin ' you grow up in a heartbeat'
Very nicely portrayed Pranavi. You are an artist with words. Lovely.
so well written, pranavi.. i simply love reading your blog. will wait for more posts. keep 'em coming!!!
Refreshing...and wonderful read... sound so much like you..... keep writing.....
Good thoughts...able to connect well as my little girl is also growing up..
True the endless pursuit of being perfect as a parent. But now I let it go without forcing or even directing the flow of their meandering minds.perhaps let them be wild and to their extremes to judge their real potential..
good thought inspiring writing.
saurabh suman
Wow wonder year they are and now you get to live them again through someone very close you to...
thanks for stopping by Drona.
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