The waiting game.....

It's a Monday afternoon. My baby is sleeping and the house is quiet. I've got a cup of coffee on my table. It's drizzly and beautiful outside of my window and the birds seem to be celebrating. It's perfect. There's so much to listen to even when it's silent. So much to see, even if I'm sitting in the same place everyday. How come I don't see it that way all the time?

Of late I've been pondering: what do we spend most of our lives doing? At the risk of generalising, it occurred to me that despite always being busy, we spend a lot of our time, if not most of it, 'waiting'. It starts off with waiting (and working towards) good exam results. Then admission into a prestigious college. A grand entrance into a profession of choice. We then wait for Mr./ Ms. Right to strut right along. Wait for marriage. Wait for the promotion that was promised. Wait for an enviable bank balance. Wait to plan a family. Holidays and travel. Wait for a better job, a better house, better home help...a better life...

And sooner than we know it, we 've accomplished something- a career, a family and if we're lucky, maybe both. But we don't feel accomplished enough. For some reason, life has become extremely complex. We have more than our fair share with respect to most around, yet there is this niggling restlessness....

Maybe it is the incessant waiting for 'something big' to happen that creates the 'unhappiness' - the reason why we never really like our jobs, don't like having to decide what to cook for dinner or being stuck with the washing or running around after the family. Maybe it's because we've lost track of what we're waiting for that we lose patience with loved ones.

It occurs to me that in our preoccupation with what we could be doing instead of what we are doing, we ride roughshod on our own lives and the things that matter the most. When there is no time, we wish we could travel, paint, sleep for hours in the afternoon, nod off over a good book, do pottery or play with pets and laugh with kids. But when there is time, we feel we should be doing something more worthwhile. But whose idea of worthwhile is it?

Somewhere there is a need to stop. Pause. Be silent. Realise that this is life. The everyday, maybe sometimes mundane is what life is all about. The sun is shining. The rain is still beautiful. The trees are a lovely shade of green. The breeze still feels nice. Something as simple as going to the gym and listening to good music on the treadmill can be a high point. It's alright to stop worrying and waiting.

Maybe life is not about 'arriving' and I may be forgiven for the cliche; maybe it is about the journey. Life could possibly be about 'being in the moment' (another cliche?); sharing a joke with a friend/ husband or wife; about paying complete attention when a child smiles at us; about stopping to say hi to a neighbour or even taking our dog for a walk. Maybe it's about singing along terribly to a favourite song or taking time out to talk to one person who we otherwise would not notice. Maybe it's about meeting each new day knowing that we can see life through the eyes of one more person.

In fact it's quite liberating to think that life is not always about that 'big something' or the extraordinary but it is the sum total of all the ordinary, small things put together-the brush strokes that create the whole picture in it's full magnificence.

I could take a leaf out of my daughter's book. She plays all day- that's her work. When she sees someone she loves, she laughs out loud as if she's seen them after years, even though it's been just ten minutes. She looks at everything around her, as if for the first time, marvelling at each sight, sound and smell. My almost 14 month old daughter- knows what life is all about.